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Full Moon December 2, 2009 in Gemini: Stop feeding the pigeons! Because of your grubby little hands, they have pooped on all your friends’ heads this month. You are a social sea creature monger and a definite air of magnetic awesomeness marks your personality. With that you will be more apt to make errors of judgment in people, places, and bird feeding. The natural trait of stubbornness will haunt you like it did Marilyn Monroe, but the Gemini Moon often shows a tendency to jumpstart dead battery conclusions and the natural Taurus fixity is not nearly so apparent. But sometimes trouble can arise when you form too quick an opinion and hold to it, no matter where the birds are migrating. You are mentally alert, but apt to lack the great memory usually possessed by Taurus natives. Try your besty bestest to not be so hypercritical of other people. You may find yourself constantly jumping into friendships and romances, but always finding reasons why the other person is not right for you. The mind always needs something tangible and concrete with which to relate. Keeping yourself mentally busy is vital for you, or else you end up in the clouds of fa-la-la land where the fairies and unicorns reside on vacay while Sandy Claws is steering the reins.

New Moon December 16, 2009 in Sagittarius: You have extended your contract with the social butterfly association. Be ready to be extroverted and sociable as you are ready to party and will thoroughly enjoy having a good time. Your extraterrestrial developed social sense suggests that you like people to the point of obsession. You would rather be home alone tackling burglars than feeling stuck with someone you consider dull or uninteresting. If you’re not obsessed, you’re typically bored out of your skull… As some consider you controversial, we here at Psychic Slut find you eerily alluring with your sense of self and determination. I will say that you MUST stop with the gossip and rumor-mongering. If you want a good life filled with delicious karma then you must proceed with a clean mouth (multiple courses of the Whor-e-Scope mouthwash are what the slut gods prescribe for you).

Full Moon December 31, 2009 in Cancer: The Blue Moon will bring out a more contradictory aspect of yourself, which will be confusing rather than Confucius-ing. The Moon placement makes you extra super sensitive, which will bring out your old schoolyard bully nature. Usually you hide your dislikes and rely on your self-made diplomatic immunity, making it unclear to others exactly where you stand or what you are thinking. At work you appear as a tad bit of a shrewd mastermind planner who comes up with strategies often influenced more by feelings than reason. I strongly suggest stabilizing your home and hanging with your family asap. Be on the lookout for an opportunity for your cocoon moment, as skin deep will no longer suffice for you.  Remember, if you’re not good, Santa’s naughty list will give an Obama Chia Pet in that stocking of yours, and we all know coal is far more useful.

Mercury Retrograde December 26, 2009 – Jan 15, 2010: There will be many unexpected delays and frustrations in communications; I wouldn’t sign any contracts, as there will be setbacks. It is not the primetime to make critical decisions that throw your life’s path into a maze needing to waste essential life S.O.S.’s. Use this holiday time for sincere reflection of your self, your subconscious thoughts and the way you think about things. . . No need for a big red nose ‘cuz Mercury is around for the New Year.

Quote of the month: “Its better to be a failure at something you love, than a success at something you hate”

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Tarot card of the month: MOON